


Mama Don't Fuss Over Me

by Voidfish



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Abuse, Drabbles, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self projection, Short Chapters, Trauma, Victim Blaming, kravitz is in later sections
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 15:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13010799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voidfish/pseuds/Voidfish
Summary: It’s the stupidest things that make him think of Sazed; the sound of rain on the roof in a melodious pitter patter that the human would comment on when they laid together on the caravan, the scent of something frying, the sound of humming while chopping vegetables. The song they danced to the night before he attempted to poison Taako.And it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair what left a mark afterwards and what didn’t. Taako wished there was a way he could decide, he could pick and choose what stained and what didn’t.





	1. His Eyes and Words Are So Icy

**Author's Note:**

> These are short (like 300 word) drabbles based off of Taako recovering and dealing with the trauma from his relationship with Sazed, based heavily off of my own experience.
> 
> Title and song lyrics from Cherry Wine by Hozier.
> 
> Warning for abuse, language, and lots of internalized victim blaming. He's gonna be ok though, in the end. We all are.

It’s the stupidest fucking things that make him think of Sazed; the sound of rain on the roof in a melodious pitter patter that the human would comment on when they laid together on the caravan, the scent of something frying, the sound of humming while chopping vegetables. The song they danced to the night before he attempted to poison Taako.

And it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair what left a mark afterwards and what didn’t. Taako wished there was a way he could decide, he could pick and choose what stained and what didn’t.

Trauma was the wrong word because trauma was what happened people got really hurt, when people almost died, and Taako walked out of the situation physically fine. He was ok.

(He couldn’t help but think sometimes about the people that weren’t okay, about all the people that were dead and he could have stopped it if he had been a fucking decent person. 

Because it was so simple what Sazed had wanted, it was so simple to provide and make him happy. If Taako had maybe had his head out of his ass then things would be ok. Maybe Sazed would have never snapped and Taako would have never lost his beauty and he would have woken one day with his memories to find the hunger destroyed.

Or maybe Sazed would have killed Taako and that would have been over with.)

 

People don’t understand, is the worst part. They look at him with pity and with horror. They apologize profusely when the tiniest thing goes wrong. They make him feel like he’s under a microscope, that he’s on display. 

What’s worse is the people who try to sympathize, who tell stories of relatives and friends who have gone through horrors. As if Taako’s troubles compare.

Because Taako has been through war- a century of it. He’s seen death and destruction-he’s partaken in it, even reveled in it occasionally.

But he finds that this human has somehow done more powerful damage than the century of running against the Hunger. It’s sad. It’s pathetic really. He should be embarrassed. Taako should be ashamed himself.

He just wants to be whole again.


	2. It Looks Ugly But It's Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooking was...damn, losing cooking was devastating, but it made sense. It was expected. That was where Sazed attacked him, where he was hurt. Where other people got hurt.

Cooking was...damn, losing cooking was devastating, but it made sense. It was expected. That was where Sazed attacked him, where he was hurt. Where other people got hurt.

And it took time, it took so much effort to undo that strain, even after he knew that it was all okay, that none of it was his fault.

And it wasn’t like something he could talk about, a weakness he could admit to. Taako wasn’t weak like that, he didn’t trust like that, because that’s how he got hurt in the first place.

It took a while to reintroduce Lup into his routine.

 

“Everything good over there, little brother?”

Lup noticed things, it was obvious in the way her eyes would flick around the room and land on Taako’s stiff posture as he cooked.

“Fuck off, you’re only twelve minutes older,” Taako replied, pouring batter into a frying pan. The banter between them, at first awkward, had finally adjusted to how it was supposed to be. What it was like before.

“Still old enough, dingus.”

“Not really, doofus.” 

Taako’s hand shook as he flipped the pancakes over. He was making a simple breakfast for his family, it was all good. It was too simple for even him to fuck up.

Lup was by his side in a moment. “You alright, Ko?”

“I’m fine,” Taako hissed out. Even he could tell the attempt at calming Lup down had the opposite effect-his voice was small and forced. 

“Let me finish that for you,” Lup said, voice quiet and soft.

“I can do this. I have to,” Taako said.

“It’s ok, Taako.”

“No, it’s not,” Taako whipped around, eyes brimming with tears. “I’m-I’m better than this. I’m over it.”

Lup pulled her brother into a hug. He didn’t even try to resist, instead melting into the embrace.

“I might be less over it than expected,” Taako muttered into Lup’s shoulder.

At least it got a laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is @infernaltwink.


End file.
